


Big Brothers

by brotherfuckers



Series: Striderclan [118]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Big Brothers, Drama, F/M, Family Drama, French, Incest, Protective Striders, Romance, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3214220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brotherfuckers/pseuds/brotherfuckers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys come up to visit the Lalondes for Mom's birthday and drama ensues which send Bro and D on a journey to find a certain hacker who missed an important date to help out their sister.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Big Brothers

**Author's Note:**

> Please pardon our French.

“Mom!” Despite being their age of eighteen, the twins always have to rush forward as soon as they clear the security line and nearly tackle their mother when they spot her blonde hair in the crowd of waiting family. She always has to take at least one step back with their impact but it’s always with a smile and open arms, pulling them to her bosom. Though with their current height, their faces are really against her shoulders. The two older sons follow along a little more refined, though she can see Derrick eager to get his hug. And Richard will never be too old for his either.

The twins detach themselves at Bro’s bark, scrambling to pick up their bags where they had slid a foot or two beyond where they had dropped them to free up their arms. The older boys take advantage of that and swoop in for their hugs. Her head bumps against their shoulders and chests.

“Hi Mama.”

“Happy early birthday.”

“Thanks, boys. I’m so glad you could come.”

“The school calendar happened to line up neatly with an extra long weekend. Plus we wouldn’t pass up the opportunity for some ice cream cake with you.”

“Of course. I am still glad. Let us get out of the way though, the girls will be excited to see you at home as well.”

They gather everything up and head out to the parking garage. Bro gets crammed into the backseat with the twins and he’s proud that he doesn’t actually break their fingers when they attempt to act like immature little brothers and Mom does nothing to stop them.

D and Mom catch up on the Texas and New York happenings during the trip home. Rose also had a bit of a break from college and had a chance to come up. She also had her own paper published in one of the psychology journals. Roxy passed her winter finals with flying colors and is studying for the ACT and SAT and whatever extra tests are out there to look good on college applications.

Dave and Dirk got their early acceptance letters in from across the country but they already had their decision made months ago. It’s just nice to have extra choices just in case and just to say that they could have. Bro got headlined at a pretty big show at an open venue that had a record number of attendees. D’s newest movie just got casted, though a couple of the slots weren’t his first choice. She knew that he’d work with the ones that he got and would make it work out even better in the end.

They pull up to the mansion and tumble out of the car. Bro makes the twins carry his and D’s luggage up the front stairs as he sees the two girls appear for their greeting hugs. Roxy is a blur of pink hair as she makes a leaping tackle at D, nearly taking him down. Rose is much more stately as she approaches Bro for her hug. He ruins her demeanor by picking her up and spinning her around. Roxy bounces around to the twins next, jumping on Dirk’s back and giving Dave a cool fist bump as they all manage to make it inside instead of standing out in the cold weather.

All of the luggage and bags get left in the entrance hall as Mom invites everyone to the kitchen for some lunch. D and Dirk are first in line. Rose however snags Dave.

“I need some help planning for April’s Fools.”

“Rose, that’s like at least two months away.”

“John will be in town. I need help planning for April’s Fools,” she repeats simply.

“You’ll need some defensive plans if he’s showing up. Alright, alright show me what you’ve got.” Dave follows Rose away.

By this time Roxy has climbed up on Bro and is sitting neatly on his shoulders.

“Ain’t ya like sixteen?”

“Yeah. So what?”

“Ain’t ya a little old to be a monkey?”

“Ain’t ya a little old to be a tree? How many rings do you have again? Forty?”

“Hey,” he shakes her a little and winces at the squeal close to her ear, “I’m only thirty.”

“Thirty-four!”

“Thirty!”

“Thirty-four!”

“Thirty!”

“Thirty-f-“

“Thirty!” he bellows playfully as he shakes her again. “There, now that we have that settled-“

“Four.”

“-shall we go see what Mama’s makin’ for us?”

“Actually,” she draws the word out, “I want to show you something I made for Hal. It’s up in my room.”

“But food!”

“This will only take a second. C’mon my loyal steed! Upstairs!”

With what sounds like a long-suffering sigh, softened by a smile, Bro takes Roxy up the stairs. She slides off when they get up there and runs ahead to her room to get things set up. Bro finds her cross-legged on her bed, tapping away on her laptop. He joins her sitting opposite.

“So.”

“So,” she imitates. “Hey, have you heard if Dirky’s had any more issue with the internet connection with Jake. I patched them up as best as I could since Jakey has pretty much become my best friend too. Not nearly as close as Dirky and him.”

“That’s for sure. I can barely get Dirk offa the ‘puter when I need him to do chores. So I’d assume that it’s holdin’ up. Thanks for bein’ their tech support. I thought he was gonna go rent a row boat and float all the way to Hell Death Island to check on the kid himself.”

“That’s what I’m here for!” Bro thinks he catches a wistful note from Roxy but she’s already bubbling onto the next thing. “Davey is still avoiding popping the big question to his gal. I’ll get an update from Rosie once she gets done with him.”

“I’m ‘bout to have a sis-in-law?” Bro asks,  “I didn’t even think they had gotten ‘round to datin’.”

Roxy gives him a look. Oh he knows that look. He’s said something stupid again. “Not that big question but the other big question. The one about going steady. Though honestly from what I hear not many people actually ask that question anymore. They just go from hanging out to being a thing with no official start. How are they supposed to celebrate anniversaries? How are they to actually know when it’s safe to call him boyfriend? How are they supposed to know when it’s an appropriate point to ship them gifts across seas or not?” she asks exasperatedly.

“Everything goin’ okay, baby sis?”

“Fine, fine.” She waves him off and sets the computer aside.

“What about you, big Bro? You got anyone special? I remember that one guy…”

“That was way before your time, Rox. How d’ya even know ‘bout him?”

“D tells some pretty awesome stories. And then I get all of the other details from Rosie who is pretty awesome at extracting information. I think she should go into the CIA.”

“Apparently. But then you’d also know that he moved on a while ago.”

“I know. So anyone else? Any hotties that ya bangin’?”

“Not that I’m tellin’ ya ‘bout. Jesus, li’l sis, what’s wrong with ya?”

“Soooo… I’m taking that as a no.”

He just gives her a look.

“So,” she distracts.

“So,” he takes the distraction. “What did ya want to show to me?”

“Oh! This.” She picks up the computer and scoots over next to Bro, settling the laptop onto his knee. On the screen is a picture of a kid with almost more freckles than skin and a messy mob of red hair dressed up in a pretty little sundress with several other options hanging out on the side and a color slider on the other. Bro thinks it’s a picture until the kid waves at him and Roxy waves back. “Hal has access to the webcam by the way. But I made her a little virtual wardrobe. All she has to do is find a picture of a fashion that she wants and imports it and then my cyberly creative code will create a duplicate as best it can to fit to Hal’s avatar!”

“That’s pretty damn cool.” He watches as Hal flips through a couple of different outfits for him. One second ey is wearing the sundress, the next ey’s wearing a little sailor’s outfit. Then a toga. Then a bikini bathing suit. Then an elegant burgundy tuxedo. Then a stunning blue gown.

“She can mix and match anything she finds and alter any of the colors and damn does she have some fashion sense.”

“Didn’t even know that Hally had an avatar. But this is cool as hell, li’l sis. I’m proud of ya.”

As if those words triggered her, she’s leaning forward and pressing her lips against Bro’s. His brain both recognizes it and rejects it. He knows what is happening but he can’t believe that it is happening. It can’t be happening. He doesn’t respond even as she pulls back. He can see her bottom lip starting to tremble and he wants to make it all better and tell her it’s okay but it’s obviously not okay because his little sister just kissed him. It’s happened before but she was way little and he made sure to teach her the right way to kiss family because that was not it. Family does not kiss on the lips. He doesn’t know what to say or what to do.

He panics and runs, nearly tripping on his way out of the door, but he thinks he was flashstepping so maybe she didn’t see that. He doesn’t stop moving until he gets to the observatory.

TT: D, I need you in the observatory.  
TG: but sandwich  
TT: No. Now.  
TT: Please.  
TG: must be serious shit if you are using please  
TG: it better not just be your dick  
TT: Hurry.

He sits down in the corner and waits. Thankfully D takes his word and actually hurried, bringing the sandwich with him.

“This really isn’t the time or place for a quickie, Bro. I thought I took care of you back home. And why the fuck are you sitting in the dark? Did you develop a new fetish I don’t know about?”

“Shut up and sit down. This is serious.”

“Apparently. You didn’t even come into the kitchen and get a sandwich. They are very good sandwiches. And no you can’t have mine.” He doesn’t follow Bro’s first command but he follows the second and sits down next to Bro, finally shutting up with another bite of said sandwich.

“Roxy kissed me.”

D chokes on the mouthful of sandwich and nearly spits it out.

“Well she likes to kiss us on the cheeks, always been touchy feely,” he gasps out as soon as he gets his airway cleared.

“Not that kind of kiss. Like a kiss kiss. Full on the lips. All the romance intended. I think.”

“This isn’t something you should joke about, Bro.”

“No shit. Not joking.”

“Huh.” He sets the sandwich aside. “Well fuck.”

“Yeah. Exactly.”

“But why exactly are you freaking out so much? I mean, incest is kinda our thing.”

“Not with my baby sis it ain’t! It’s like boilin’ a frog. If ya throw a frog into boilin’ water it jumps right back out. But if ya put a frog into normal water and then slowly turn up the heat, the frog is too dumb to jump out before it’s fuckin’ boiled. We’re boiled frogs, D. Boiled frogs.”

D blinks at Bro for a bit. “So we were both introduced to the incest idea without actually being introduced to the incest itself until later. But Roxy is the boiling water.”

“Exactly.”

“Fuck your brain, Bro.”

“Plus it ain’t like we can get the twins pregnant. If it was even legal to get to that sort of point ‘cause she’s fuckin’ sixteen.”

“Basically all the reasons that I came up with when thinking about the twins are now kinda applicable.”

“Exactly. Plus she kissed me outta the blue. Like I wasn’t pickin’ up signs or nothin’ ‘bout it. Which is weird because I’m fuckin’ good with people. She’s gotta have told someone. Like Hal.” He eyes his phone suspiciously.

It was a secret! I was learning to keep a secret!

“Thought so. Next we’re teaching you that some secrets aren’t meant to be kept. But others are so don’t start being a confessional, Hal,” D says quickly to counteract what he assumes Hal is processing.

“Yeah. A little warnin’ woulda been nice. Freaked me the fuck out.”

“Well, what did you say to her?”

“Uh. I didn’t.”

D just stares at Bro, hoping that he’ll elaborate and tell him that he didn’t say much, instead of not saying anything at all. But he doesn’t. “You dumbass.”

“I know, I know,” Bro hangs his head. “But I still don’t got a clue what to say!”

D lets out a heavy sigh. “Alright. Here’s the plan.”

* * *

By the time that D hashes everything out with Bro, D gets a warning text from Dirk asking where he went and that Mom tells him to bring the sandwich plate down with him. D sends Bro off while he promises to go distract her while Bro goes to make it right with Roxy. 

Bro goes to the door and knocks softly on it but only gets a sob in response that makes him feel like a shitty piece of shit. He gently tries the doorknob but it’s locked.

“Roxy? I just wanna… Can I please come in?”

There are the sounds of movement on the other side of the door, which makes him hopeful, but then silence. He hangs his head again; he guesses he’s doing this the hard way.

Thankfully Roxy’s room isn’t too hard to get to from the outside. Much easier than his own, which is oddly poetic because Bro had the highest risk of venturing out via the window for late night excursions. The difficulty never stopped him however. Soon enough he is unlocking Roxy’s window and sliding in. Sometimes it’s amazing how similar Roxy and Dave are. Moments like these remind him.

He doesn’t find her on the bed like he expected but there is a trail of blankets leading from the bed to a partially closed closet.

“Roxy?”

“Go away.”

“Nope. We gotta talk this out.”

“Don’t wanna.” He hears a sniffle.

“Tough toenails.” He sits down outside of the closet with his back to the nearest wall. “Now, I’ma sit here and talk. Ya can either stay in there or come out here, whatever makes ya comfortable, but we are definitely talkin’.” There is neither answer nor movement. “To start with, I ain’t mad at ya. I just was taken by surprise and a little freaked out by it. So I did the dumb thing and left.”

“Because that’s what everyone does around me.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Roxy. I was dumb. Big dumb Bro. Which is why I came back. Ya know that we can’t, right? Gotta be logical ‘bout it.”

“Hal didn’t say it was wrong.”

“Hal is still learnin’. You’re like way too young to be mackin’ on dudes like me. And it could never ever get beyond mackin’ because of the other things,” Bro feels his face go a little red. “Plus, ya gotta save that for someone special.”

“Yeah, right,” she says dismissively as she crawls forward. Her eyes look like a paler pink with how red the skin in around them. It makes Bro want to pull her into a tight hug. “You would be my someone special because if not you, then who? I’m not popular in school. No guys ever look my way. I’ve been marked as tomboy no matter what kind of skirt I wear. Just because I punched one guy, two years ago. And now I scare them off with all my tech knowledge. I’m the best hacker this side of the Mississippi and have all the cred but no one gives a fuck!” The tears are flowing and Bro can see the anger in her movements as she gestures wildly. “Then I have my ‘imaginary’ boyfriend who fucking lives in the middle of fucking France because he’s a fucking idiot and fucking won’t come to fucking America to fucking kiss me!” She’s out of breath by the end of the rant. Bro is surprised at her ability to keep her voice down while screaming. He wonders how often that happens. He doesn’t hesitate to pull her close this time.

“Hey baby girl, shush now. You’re okay, you’re okay. High school is hell, okay? Worst time ever. I mean, D and I didn’t even finish it before we fuckin’ walked out. That’s how much of a hell it is. Not that ya should be walkin’ out, ya hear me? But yeah, it’s gonna suck, but it’s only for a couple of years and then ya get to go to college with like minded folk. Or so they say. I kinda ran off to Texas, didn’t I? But look at Rosie. And the boys are ‘bout to go. They’ll meet up with their friends, their real friends not just the ones that they had to sit next to for algebra for a couple of years. I bet you have your real friends out there like Jake and Ca… oh what’s her name… Calliope. See, I remember ya talkin’ ‘bout her.” He feels Roxy sniff but nod against his shoulder. “There we go, baby girl.”

“But I don’t wanna wait. That’s not until I’m like old.”

“Hey, I’m not even old and I woulda been out of college for a while. You’ll live, I promise. Plus…” He pulls her back and brushes the tears off of her face. “I got a plan that will help ya out.”

* * *

After a quick discussion with Mom about the plan, avoiding the impetus of said plan, Bro and D are up in the air in D’s private jet by dinner. A long eight hours later they land in France, both hoping that Hal’s information on TwinArmageddons is accurate. A rental is waiting for them on the tarmac. Bro laughs at the big black SUV, finding it suiting for what they are about to do. Hal gives them directions while assuring them that ey know what ey is doing because ey is a supercomputer after all. Each reassurance makes Bro feel less assured each time.

He feels even less assured when they pull up in front of a very large and richly decorated mansion.

“Hal-“

I know, I know, surprised me at first too. But I am dead certain this is where one Sollux Captor lives.

“What a fuckin’ funny name.”

A bit, but hey, he’s French or something. But all of his shopping habits have an epicenter here and this is where Amazon delivers his computer parts and where his IP signal sources. At least once I traced it back from several bounces. He thought he was being smart. You aren’t smart compared to a supercomputer, fucker!

“Okay, okay, we get it, you’re the best. Now shut up while we go in.”

Bro and D climb out of the car. D’s used to big mansions so Bro lets him go first. On the plane ride they had discussed how they wanted to take the computer nerd, but they never expected somewhere so big so it ruined all of their grab and dash plans. Their next choice was to go in through the front door. D walks up and presses the doorbell. They share a split second of stupid grin at the absurdity of what they are doing before they slide their poker faces back into place. They hear the lock tumblers turn and the door swing open.

“Bonjour?”

“Bonjour monsieur. Nous sommes ici pour Sollux Captor,” D starts surprising Bro with his French. Though it makes sense because they are in France. He sort of wants to facepalm himself. He wonders how much English Sollux will know.

“You speak English, correct?” the elderly man in front of them asks.

“Yes.”

“Good, your accent is…” He makes a wavering hand gesture.

“Ah yes, sorry, Hollywood French. But we are looking for Sollux Captor; is this his residence?”

“Yeah, hang on one second.” He turns into the mansion and shouts, “Solly! Your friends are here to see you!”

“What friends? Papa, what are you talking about?” a much younger voice calls back up. “Don’t answer! Just don’t send them down here!”

The man turns back to the Striders. “I’ll point you in the direction of the basement.” He steps away from the door and invites them in. “Would the two of you want snacks or something to drink?”

Bro and D exchange looks but shake their head negatively. “No thank you, sir.”

“Oh none of that sir stuff, please. Any friends of Solly can just call me Papa as well.”

“Ah, thank you,” D says stiffly.

Papa leads them to a nearby door that has stairs leading down to the basement. He wishes them well and waves them on. Bro shrugs and heads down first. He gets the sensation that the basement has been turned into some sort of cyber lair with how much glowing electronics are on almost every other surface. The rest is covered in nerd paraphernalia that Bro recognizes about a quarter of. He hears tapping and cursing coming from the dark corner. D follows him in until they are standing over the back of a computer chair with a teenager hunched over a keyboard with five screens set up on the desk in front of him with about twice as many energy drink cans on the rest of the open space. Bro gives D a look. Obviously this is the right guy but fuck, they need to talk to their sister about standards.

“Sollux Captor.”

It’s amusing to see the skinny nerd whip around quickly without knocking anything on his desk over. “Merde! Papa! I said don’t send them down!” he shouts. “Now who the fuck are you?”

“Roxy’s brothers.”

“Uh…”

“TipsyGnostalgic.”

“Oh. Oh fuck. What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Technically somethin’ like kidnappin’. Heard that you ain’t plannin’ on visitin’ America for a while and that was gettin’ our baby sister upset so we decided to fix that for ya.”

“You’re insane.” The pronunciation of ‘insane’ seems a little off, but they chalk it up to French being the kid’s first language.

“A bit.” Bro lets a sardonic smile creep onto his face.

“We know that you are home schooled and that your work is entirely cyber based so you won’t be missing anything.”

“How do y- Hal.”

“Yes.”

“That bitch.” Sollux runs a hand through his black spiky hair and fixes his glasses, which the Striders notice are actually colored lenses instead of just picking up the ambient colors. A grin creeps over his face. “So, kidnapping?” It finally clicks that the kid has a bit of a lisp when ‘so’ ends up sounding more like ‘tho’ and god help him Bro thinks it’s fucking adorable.

“If ya consider Roxy your girlfriend and ain’t playin’ with her.” The threat is obviously implied if he says anything other than positive affirmation.

“She’s definitely my girlfriend. Hell, I haven’t found a better hacker on at least three continents, myself excluded. The only reason I didn’t want to go to America right now is that she’s still in the middle of her studies. I’ve actually technically already graduated. Nearly halfway through my uni. Will you give me a moment to pack?”

“Not typical for a kidnappin’, but I think we can bend the rules.”

“How long will I be in the States?”

“As long as you want. Private plane will get you back here.”

“Sweet.” He launches up off his feet and stumbles over to what might have been a bed if it hadn’t been covered in computer parts. He drags a bag out and starts stuffing clothes in it. Bro and D exchange looks again. What the fuck is their little sister thinking? This is either going to go swimmingly and make her the happiest teenager in New York or will end with Sollux getting the worst wedgie of his life four times over.

He comes back with a backpack slung over his shoulder with at least two laptops and their cords and a duffle bag of clothes hanging from the other. Bro eyes his posture which looks like a question mark, probably from so many hours in front of the computer. Sollux takes notice of his gaze and straightens up a good couple of inches until he’s nearly even with Bro. D notices and has to hold back a snort of laughter.

“Ready to go?” Bro pointedly ignores Sollux’s self-measurement and D’s reaction.

“Yes,” Sollux lisp comes out strongly in his apparent excitement. They climb up the stairs and are about to leave the mansion when Sollux calls out over his shoulder. “Hé, Papa, Dad,Je vais en Amérique pour un certain temps . Appelez-moi si vous avez besoin de moi.”

“Amusez-vous, mon fils!”

“Ne soyez pas trop de graisse là-bas. En fait, aller de l'avant et de mettre un peu de poids!”

“Ta gueule, Papa!” He turns back to the Striders. “Alright. I’m ready for kidnapping.”

* * *

The flight is just as long as it was on the way in, but the Striders don’t waste much time interrogating Sollux as soon as they can make him relax after the take off. Turns out that number one reason for not visiting was his fear of planes that he only remembered as the engines shuddered to life.

They find out that he’s seventeen. He’s doing an online degree for computer science and computer engineering to the surprise of no one. He wanted to do a bit of archeology based on the interests of an old girlfriend but his new thing is creating architectural computer assisted design programs. His favorite color is yellow and he loves anything with honey in it. He apparently has his own beehives at their country home. He has a friend who takes care of them for him while he’s in the city. He has hetrochromia between his two eyes, a reddish brown in his right and blue in his left, which are the opposite colors of his glasses. The Striders are sympathetic to the light reduction function of his glasses with their own shades.

They also find out that Sollux isn’t popular with his peers despite his brilliance because ‘they don’t understand his brilliance’ which the Striders read as bullshit. He probably has a proud streak and a loud mouth. His lisp is natural instead of Bro’s theory of being punched too many times in the mouth.

His work is split between the legal and illegal. Bro and D decide to go the plausible deniability route and only ask about the legal. Sollux works on website security, building internet security protocols that only hackers as skilled as he, which he swears that he’s the only one at that tier, could break into by studying the other top hackers. Roxy and Hal have been great testers to the point that he’s cut them into the deal and provided them with a bit of income.

Bro and D trade glances over the idea that Hal has eir own account and money.

“I’ve also been working on this great project that I’m going to launch on Valentine’s Day for Roxy. It’s going to blow her mind. I just have a couple details to work out, a handful of sites to get into and rearrange to make sure that their own security codes don’t try to rewrite mine, because virtual reality is too dependent on so many factors which at the least is affected by where she is sitting and her angle of view, but I’m a genius so it should work out just fine.”

“If you are such a genius then you should know that Valentine’s Day was two days ago.”

“What?” He drops the biscoff cookie into his lap.

“Ya don’t get out of that cave of yours much, d’ya?”

“No, no, no, you have to be fucking with me.” Sollux scrambles to get his phone out to look at the date and sees February 16th staring back at him. “Oh shit. Fuck shit. C’est vraiment des conneries. Putain. No wonder she was mad at me. And by mad at me I mean not talking to me.”

Bro realizes that it was probably another trigger that pushed her to kiss him instead. “I’m gonna buy you a fuckin’ calendar.”

“Dude, that’s sad. You missed Valentine’s Day. By any right, we should beat you for hurting our sister.”

“I’ll apologize to her. To her face even,” Sollux says quickly in his defense.

“Yeah, yeah,” Bro waves him off and sits back down in his seat. “Just wait until we land.”

Bro swears that he’s never seen whiter knuckles and they were still at least an hour out from New York. There might have been finger dents on the arm rests after Sollux finally got out of the plane.

* * *

 

He returns to his normal self soon afterwards, asking for food in the back of their car for the short drive back to the Lalonde mansion. Neither Strider says anything to him. Apparently Hal sent word ahead of them to tell the others of their approach so that when they pull up to the house, there the two other Striders and the three Lalondes are already outside.

“Why are there so many people? So many of you. Uh… is it too late to request being sent back to France?”

“Get outta the fuckin’ car.”

Sollux opens the door and slides off the seat. Bro follows him out and stands behind him so that he can’t run away. He stays close to him, feeling like he is nearly marching the poor kid up to his doom. But it’s his fault he was in this position too.

“Twins Armageddon?”

“Tipsy Gnostalgic? I mean, Roxy?”

“Nerd.” There is a beat and then Roxy is launching herself off of the stairs at him. He braces the best he can but if it wasn’t for Bro, he would have been knocked all the way down by the pink haired girl’s hug.

“Whoa, li’l sis. Don’t kill him after we bright him all the way back here.”

“I’m not gonna kill him! I’m just annoyed because he got to meet you face to face first!”

“Well we were the ones who had to go get him, Roxy.”

“Yeah, yeah, says you.”

“Uh...” Sollux speaks up. Roxy’s simply hanging from around his neck. He’s surrounded by a strange family in a foreign country, Bro’s surprised he’s lasted this long. “Can we go inside? Sorry, but it’s kinda cold out here. I’m starting to shiver.”

“Oh em gee! You sound adorable, Bee’s Knees. Yeah, c’mon I’ll show you around!” Roxy drops off his shoulders only to grab his hand drag him inside. They do brief introductions in the foyer instead of the stairs.

“Gemini Boy, this is my big sis, Rose. My brothers Dirk and Dave, yes they are twins, no you aren’t allowed to kiss them at once. Don’t even try it, Twin Turbo. You’ve already met my biggest brothers, Bro and D.”

“Actually I’m not sure if they ever told me their names.”

“Well if they were kidnapping you, they wouldn’t want you to know their names, duh.”

“Oh, of course.” Bro snorts at how fast he accepted that.

“And then, Double Doom, this is my mom.” Mom nods to him all smiles and sweetness. Until Roxy looks away and then the look becomes flat with just an edge of hostility that sends shivers down Bro’s back and he’s not the one it’s directed at. The non verbal threat is received loud and clear by Sollux who gulps and nods. Just as Roxy looks back, Mom’s face goes back to the smiling hostess without her daughter knowing a thing. “Let me show you around!”

Sollux is dragged off, stage left. The rest of the family looks at each other and then laughs at the situation.

Over the next hour, Roxy and Sollux explore the entire mansion but in every room they find one of the Striders or Lalondes. Roxy doesn’t seem phased but Sollux starts twitching as he apparently wants a moment alone, or at least not being dragged about for a second. No one really says anything to either of them as Roxy tells him what each room is and a story about someone doing something in the room as if that will make him remember it better. Bro knows better; there are just too many rooms. The choice of stories are amusing however.

He particularly enjoys the observatory one. He actually hides during this one, giving the illusion of being alone. Not that he didn’t trust Roxy or wanted to invade her privacy, but he wanted to test Sollux. Sure enough as soon as she’s done with the observatory story involving the snow catapult and is about to drag him out again, he pulls her back.

“Hey, hold up a second.”

“What’s up, Apocalypse Apologist?”

“Give me a second to breathe. Been running non stop since I was pulled out of my basement.”

“Your hacker hollow? Your gamer grotto? Your technology cavity? Damn it, that one didn’t work.”

“Yeah, exactly. That place. I had a great game of Peggle going.”

“You got to sit on the plane.”

“I wouldn’t call that just sitting. I was terrified out of my wits. I hate planes. The shit I do for you.”

“You didn’t do anything for Valentine’s Day.” Ouch, he’s in trouble now, Bro snickers to himself. He’s tempted to offer the kid some burn salve.

“Oh. Yeah... I’m sorry. I lost track of time. I have something really cool though! Almost done with it. Actually could use your help with it.”

“Really? That’s so cool!” Bro bites down on his finger to keep from laughing at how fast her demeanor changed.

“Yeah. And we’ll have plenty of time to work on it. Apparently I have an open ticket for my return trip.”

“That’s great!”

“Yeah...” He doesn’t sound as happy as Roxy about it.

“What’s wrong. Loquacious Lisp?”

“Those aren’t ever going to stop, are they?”

“Nope, Hacker Babe.”

“Well, okay. They are cute. I think you are cute. I think this is awesome to be here. But...”

“But what?” Bro finds himself leaning in. If that nerd thinks he can end things right now, like this, he’s got another thing coming. Which looks something like the wrath of six Strider/Lalondes breathing down his neck.

“But I don’t think they like me. I mean, I know I haven’t had much interaction yet. But they are barely talking to me and they look at me weird and they keep threatening me if I hurt you at all. So... yeah... I don’t think your family likes me.”

Oh. Bro settles back down in his hiding place. Maybe he should lighten up on the geek.

“Doesn’t matter. I like you.”

There is silence from the two of them so Bro peeks out over the edge of his hiding spot. Even in the low light of the observatory, he can see Sollux’s blush across his cheeks.

“Kiss me.”

“Uh.”

“Please, Sollux.”

“Oh.” Bro looks away as the kid leans in and kisses Roxy. Apparently it goes well as he doesn’t hear anything from them for a long while. Just when he’s tempted to cough to break them up, they do so naturally.

“So, wanna go play Smash? I think I heard the twins say something about kicking your French butt at a couple rounds.”

“Oh hell yes. I will totally pwn them.”

“That’s my Four Eyes.”

“Hey!” They move out of the room before Bro can over hear the rest of the conversation. He sits there though in the observatory for a little longer, proud of his little sister taking charge. Even if it did start off on the wrong foot. They’ll be okay though.

 

**Author's Note:**

> For more information please check out our work at striderclan.tumblr.com; we have more stories, head canons, art/pictures.


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